Try a rewind

As parents, we know we’re not going to get it right every time. But here’s one way you can strengthen your connection, even after a miss-take:

Try a “rewind.”

When you make a miss-step with your teen or young adult (or, let’s be real, with your spouse too!), take a moment to reflect on how you could have handled the situation differently. Could you have asked more questions before responding? Did you need to say anything at all, or could you have given them space to handle it themselves? Would it have been helpful to ask for a little time to process before responding?

The goal here is to retrain your brain to look for alternative ways to approach situations. When you identify these alternatives, you’ll be building new pathways that will help you in future interactions.

So, when you realize you made a mistake, go back to your teen or young adult and say, “I didn’t handle that conversation well. I’d like to try again.” Acknowledge where you went off track and then have the conversation again, this time in a way that reflects how you wish you’d approached it from the start.

This is a win-win! You’re modeling how to own up to miss-takes and repair things, while also rewiring your own brain for healthier responses. An apology without action is just words—but showing them how you’re actively working to improve builds trust and respect. It’s never too late to reconnect, and the process of owning it, apologizing, and rewiring your responses is powerful for both you and your family.